Updated: May 7, 2019
Recently some like-minded persons asked me, whether they should let their parents know about their fetish (hobbies)! This question had been asked a lot.
Well I guess it sure is a problem most of you will face. I’m going to share my story.
Back when I was in junior high school I started to buy tights…masks...etc.
I was caught a few times, but never red-handed.
While in college I became financially independent, so I bought more of this stuff
(Of course I didn’t want anyone to have acknowledge at that time and didn’t even thought about it! Just want to collect what I enjoy)
But when the collection grew bigger…eventually you can’t hide it all…
I usually use performance or costumes from part-time jobas an excuse...my parents believed me.
(This is very crucial, parents aren’t stupid, and they pretend to believe you instead of poking through,partly because they’re waiting for to tell them, in the other hand represents they are being able to communicate, in half-awareness.)
After that I was working outside of Taiwan for about 4 years.
Entering the workforce made me to become able to feel the happiness in life, no need to live under somebody else’s nose.
What you really want is the truth.
Then returning back to Taiwan with a proper job status.
When your parents are ease about your future, this may be the right time to come to light.
But why? Telling them now, your parents won’t bond this with your future or influence about work.
They will simply think about what fetish is.
The reason I want my parents to acknowledge all of this is very simple: they are the person I love the most, that’s why I want them to know what I love.
Whether they accept it or not isn’t the point, this is more like an inform just to let them know. Because I love them.
I prepared a lot of work about how to inform.
(If I want my parents to understand me then I need to understand them first)
I started to play ping pong with my mom in the morning…knowing what her job is…meet her friends…Have more conversation with my dad, acknowledge what he likes…etc.
For about half a year our relations turned better and better.
Slowly I let them to know me piece by piece, and see the place I live (separately)
, tell them what I love.
I said: I don’t need you to fully understand this hobby, but because I love you so much❤ I want you to know what I was doing.
My mother replied she knew some part of it a long time ago, when I was 5 she took me to a department store I enjoyed touching stockings and fur…and said all kinds of strange behavior I did as a kid.
But she didn’t want to admit her child is abnormal, instead she chose to ignore it.
I told her this hobby won’t hurt anybody, but if I couldn’t live with it, it would break my heart and injury me.
Life is about seeking for happiness, not turning into normal like everyone else, this is the joy of life.
In the case of friends I wouldn’t choose to let all of them know, because this isn’t something they will like, you wouldn’t take someone who prefer to play basketball to a swimming pool will you? Just find the same kind.
Back to about parents, I think the major part is to understand them more. Parents are just like you that needs to be understand more.
When I was a kid I always thought they never understand me, ironically that's what we were doing to our parents when we get older…
I lot of friends couldn’t even say where their friends are, what kinds of friends they have, and what kind of working environment, hobbies…
This is the most crucial point, when the both of us could understand each other enough, I think you would be able to say anything.
Because you love them.