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should I let my parents know about my fetish?!該不該說?讓父母知道你的癖好??

Updated: May 7, 2019

Recently some like-minded persons asked me, whether they should let their parents know about their fetish (hobbies)! This question had been asked a lot.

Well I guess it sure is a problem most of you will face. I’m going to share my story.

最近有同好问我,要不要公开让父母知道爱好的问题!我前前后被问过满多次的。

我想还满多人想知道的。我在这边分享我的故事。

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还我大约在国中开始买紧身衣..面具等。

Back when I was in junior high school I started to buy tights…masks...etc.

被抓到的次数也很多,但都不是当场抓到。

I was caught a few times, but never red-handed.

大学开始有了更多的经济能力,我开始买了更多

While in college I became financially independent, so I bought more of this stuff

(这时候的我没有想让人知道,也没想过!只想收集我喜欢的东西)

(Of course I didn’t want anyone to have acknowledge at that time and didn’t even thought about it! Just want to collect what I enjoy)

..那东西多了,基本上就藏不住了。

But when the collection grew bigger…eventually you can’t hide it all…

我都以表演,打工道具......等借口忽悠〜家人也信了

I usually use performance or costumes from part-time jobas an excuse...my parents believed me.

(这蛮重要的,父母不是白痴,假装相信没有搓破,一方面在等你跟他说,一方面也代表父母能沟通,半默认状态)

(This is very crucial, parents aren’t stupid, and they pretend to believe you instead of poking through,partly because they’re waiting for to tell them, in the other hand represents they are being able to communicate, in half-awareness.)

那之后我有4年不在台湾,开始工作。

After that I was working outside of Taiwan for about 4 years.

出社会,慢慢的体会了生活与快乐,不需要活在别人眼皮底下。自己想要才是真的。

接着回台湾,有了工作基础。

Entering the workforce made me to become able to feel the happiness in life, no need to live under somebody else’s nose.

What you really want is the truth.

Then returning back to Taiwan with a proper job status.

父母也开始放心你(未来)的时候,我觉得这才是比较好的公开时间。

When your parents are ease about your future, this may be the right time to come to light.

怎么说呢?这时后说,父母不会再与你的未来以及会不会影响工作,一起思考这个问题。

But why? Telling them now, your parents won’t bond this with your future or influence about work.

会变得很单纯在恋物这样块。

They will simply think about what fetish is.

那我想让我父母知道的理由是:她是我最亲的人,我想让他们知道我喜欢什么

(接不接收不是重点)只想让他们知道,我爱他们。

The reason I want my parents to acknowledge all of this is very simple: they are the person I love the most, that’s why I want them to know what I love.

并不用一定要让他们接受或认同,只是告知。

Whether they accept it or not isn’t the point, this is more like an inform just to let them know. Because I love them.

我告知的方法,做了很长的准备

I prepared a lot of work about how to inform.

(想要父母了解我,首先我也要了解父母)

(If I want my parents to understand me then I need to understand them first)

我开始早上陪我妈妈去打乒乓球..了解他的工作..认识他的朋友。

陪我爸聊天,了解他喜欢什么..等等。

I started to play ping pong with my mom in the morning…knowing what her job is…meet her friends…Have more conversation with my dad, acknowledge what he likes…etc.

大约半年〜关系开始约来越好。

For about half a year our relations turned better and better.

那慢慢的我让他们来了解我~(父母分开来)我的家,跟他说我喜欢这个,

Slowly I let them to know me piece by piece, and see the place I live (separately)

, tell them what I love.

我說:我没有要让你们接受我这个爱好,因为我爱你❤️想让你知道,我在做什么。

I said: I don’t need you to fully understand this hobby, but because I love you so much❤ I want you to know what I was doing.

(那我妈当下是说,他早就知道了)在我5岁就去百货公司,就喜欢去抓丝袜,跟皮草..說了很多我小時候的奇怪問題已行為。

My mother replied she knew some part of it a long time ago, when I was 5 she took me to a department store I enjoyed touching stockings and fur…and said all kinds of strange behavior I did as a kid.

当时他只是不像承认,自己的小孩 “不正常”,没有说、选择无视。

But she didn’t want to admit her child is abnormal, instead she chose to ignore it.

我跟他说这个东西,不会伤害到别人,但不做我非常不快乐,反会伤害自己。

I told her this hobby won’t hurt anybody, but if I couldn’t live with it, it would break my heart and injury me.

我觉得人生因该追求的是快乐,而不是要跟别人一样當正常人,才是快乐。

Life is about seeking for happiness, not turning into normal like everyone else, this is the joy of life.

 朋友的话我不会想让他们知道认同,因为这东西本来就是他们不喜欢的,

就像他喜欢打篮球,你硬要让他们喜欢游泳,是一样的问题。

找喜欢游泳的就好〜。

In the case of friends I wouldn’t choose to let all of them know, because this isn’t something they will like, you wouldn’t take someone who prefer to play basketball to a swimming pool will you? Just find the same kind.

 那父母这块,我觉得重点是,了解他们。父母也是人也需要被了解。

Back to about parents, I think the major part is to understand them more. Parents are just like you that needs to be understand more.

小时候我们往往觉得父母不懂我们想法;相反的我们也不了解他们,只单方向要他们了解我们.....

When I was a kid I always thought they never understand me, ironically that's what we were doing to our parents when we get older…

很多朋友到现在父母去哪里、他有什么样的朋友、工作实际环境、兴趣,爱好,都不知道。

I lot of friends couldn’t even say where their friends are, what kinds of friends they have, and what kind of working environment, hobbies…

那我觉得这才是重点,当双方够了解对方,我想什么都可以说了[微笑] 

因為你愛他

This is the most crucial point, when the both of us could understand each other enough, I think you would be able to say anything.

Because you love them.



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